Melindaville's List of Pet Peeves (Or Everyone Needs a Good Rant Now and Then)
I think I should have started a ‘Pet Peeves’ category a long time ago. We all have pet peeves and it always feels good to be able to rant about them. And what better place to have a rant than your own personal blog?
Since things have been unusually hectic, stressful and even downright dark here at Melindaville lately, I thought I would cheer things up a bit with some light-hearted banter about some of my biggest pet peeves, which are (in no particular order):
1. Rushing in to use a toilet and finding the roll of toilet paper is empty! And going along with this is (#2)
2. Toilet paper dispensers that do not allow the roll to move freely, meaning you can only break off one tiny (and insufficient) square at a time. Most rest stops are guilty of employing this tactic as a toilet tissue cost saving measure. But this annoys the hell out of me.
3. Believe it or not, men, you aren’t the only ones who pee while standing up! A huge segment of the female population does this, leaving their little ‘gift’ of urine drops on the seat for the next unsuspecting toilet user. This really drives me nuts! I have scolded women for doing this when I catch them in the act. I feel so strongly about this one that perhaps this even warrants public service campaign—the slogan can be, "If you sprinkle while you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.”
4. Automated telemarketer calls! What. The. HELL? You nearly kill yourself, rushing from the shower, wet, naked, and slipping on the floor to get to the phone in time, only realize it is not even a human being but some automated telemarketer who has put you on hold! For SHAME!
5. Finding an item you can’t live without and then seeing there is no price tag attached.
6. Standing in queue behind someone waiting for a price check on items with no price tags.
7. Being called “Ma'am.” I know I am old. And yes, probably old enough to be called “Ma’am” but please, humor me and call me “Miss” (for those of you in the service industry—this automatically bumps your tip up (or down) a few dollars).
8. Dressing room mirrors that deliberately make you look thinner. You find that great dress that makes you look thinner in the dressing room mirror, only to return home to your own (realistic) mirror and find it makes you look as chunky as you really are! These should possibly be illegal. Or at least regulated by the government.
9. Poor Drivers in general—but several offenders actually deserve their own private category and I feel it is my duty to pay homage to each group of annoyers in their own showcase.
9a. Drivers that pull out in front of you at the last minute, causing you have to either slow down or hit them. Most annoying are the ones who watch as you approach, then at the last minute, pull out. Why? Do. You. Do. This? Also, adding to the peeve is the fact that most of these folks usually drive as slow as molasses once they do this, too (are you listening Commonwealth of Massachusetts?).
9b. Going along with the previous: Drivers that pass you and then slow way down.
9c. People who drive well below the speed limit—in the fast lane.
10. People who answer their cell phones and then hold long conversations when you are out at dinner with them. Perhaps the caller is more interesting than I am—but this is just so blatantly rude
11. When smoke alarms go off when I am cooking (unfortunately, this happens a lot).
12. Being selected for extra screening by the TSA. I particularly loathe the TSA officers who like to pretend they are cops. It’s gotten even more annoying since they all got new cop-like uniforms.
13. Windows automatic updates. You come back to your computer to find it has restarted and you lost all the work you were doing when the automatic update kicked in.
14. People who say, “I know how you feel” when they clearly do not.
15. Losing work due to computer crashes (that blog post that was lost was my best EVER—and now it’s gone, FOREVER!).
16. People who talk in hyperboles: “that blog post that was lost was my best EVER—and now it’s gone, FOREVER!”
17. People who talk in the third person: “Melinda has some pet peeves she’d like to tell you about.”
18. People who tell me how wonderful bats are for our environment after I tell them about my terrible bat phobia.
19. Putting on a new pair of expensive hosiery and seeing an immediate runner appear (I will never buy Spanx sheer stockings again!).
20. The government’s Emergency Alert System (you know, the “This is only a test” thingy). It always seems to pre-empt the most important moment in the television show you are watching. I saw a report on this on 60 minutes—they mentioned that the alert system had never actually been used! Not even during 911! Our tax dollars at work, folks!
So, that’s my list (for now). What annoys the hell out of you?
(This was fun!)
Peace,
Melinda
Played: 23 | Download | Duration: 00:06:03
Categories: Living in the Moment,Humor,Reflections,Happiness
Tags: rants Melindaville's list of pet peeves things that annoy you getting things off your chest pet peeves
1) queue jumpers...the guy who says "I only have two items...mind if I go ahead?" Hell yes, I mind. That's why they have the 10 Item or Less register...and why I didn't invite you to go ahead of me!
2) people who have to pay with exact change...small change...dug from the bottoms of their handbags, pockets, or backpacks.
3) people who use "that" and "who" interchangeably. "The dog who chased a cat and the woman that rescued it." "Who" is for people..."that" is for everything else.
4) websites that are all about trendym cutting-edge graphic design and not about function.
5) websites that don't have "contact us" tabs so I can tell them that the functionality of their site sucks.
6) bending the truth: they told us the house was 280 sqm...since my house was 255 sqm, we expected everything to fit with room to spare. What they didn't say was that the 280sqm includes the patio, the balcony and the garage. Lovely house, elegant garden, lied about the size and now we're locked into a 12 month lease in a freaking shoebox!! (and my Mercedes is parked in the driveway because it will withstand the daily rain better than the boxes and furniture that won't fit into the house and are therefore in the garage).
Those are just the ones off the top of my head. Right now I am peeved at the neighbour (I have just moved in) who called to complain about my dogs barking at night. Um...they are new here...dogs bark at the out-of-the=ordinary and when you're new, that describes everything. Besides, HIS dog starts it...because our dogs are new to him, too.
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Hahahahahahaha, SV! So great to see you again! (I have really missed you my friend!).
I absolutely love your list--and you know, those are on my list too! Are you blogging again? I have really missed your clever posts!
Thank you for your contributions to the Pet Peeves List!
Melinda
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*snort* like I have time to write right now...they loaded more than 400 items onto that truck, most of it boxes. But they did such a crap job of packing, I'm having to unpack myself (would you pack your lingerie with a dirty dog bed? Or your T shirts with some bottles of shampoo plus a few pieces of antique crystal all in a box labelled "toiletries"? Freaking morons, I tell ya!
So, the truck was unloaded the 9th and the maid and I are STILL unpacking the boxes. Yesterday we unpacked a box that contained motor oil, insecticide, pool chemicals...and craft items from my study! It took us more than two weeks to find the curtains...and smack in the middle of my beige slub-woven faux silk draperies I found a crushed lampshade and my marble pastry board!!
The only writing I'm doing these days is a scathing tome to the president of the supposedly top-flight international moving company that caused this horrifying mess (an antique dresser and an expensive 4 piece armoire somehow got water damaged INSIDE their truck and there are chunks of wood missing from my Bob Timberlake cherrywood linen press and an Indonesian teak bookcase).
*sigh* I hate it here...but it should be an excellent source of grumbly blog posts down the road a bit.
Did I tell you I now live in Philistine Central, complete with pretentious, trendy little boutique malls...and this whole supposedly-sophisticated city rolls up its freaking sidewalks at 6 pm (except for the eateries and the legions of pubs and watering holes, of course). Unbelievable!!
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OMG--I share your hatred of stupid movers! I have definitely had my share of problems with these folks (I really do think it is impossible to find a good moving company). When I moved from Pennsylvania to San Francisco after grad school, they arrived nearly 6 weeks after I did! And they were supposed to be there within a week of my arrival--and then my car was all scratched up. I wish you all the best in getting some results on being compensated for your damaged belongings.
I'm so sorry you don't like where you are--but perhaps it will be temporary? Or perhaps there are some very cool people in your neighborhood that will make the move more tenable (once you get to know them). I can kind of relate to this--because although I do love many things about Boston, San Francisco is definitely home and I always miss it.
It does sound as though you are getting a lot of great material for your blog, though, SV! It's so great to see you again!
Melinda
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How about people that slow down to 0 when turning right? People that brake right after crossing a traffic light. TP that unfolds under. Old ladies that pay with checks at the grocery store. My lab manager not answering the phone when it is next to her.
I have a lot more but I'll stop here to say hi! Hi Melinda! Hi SV! Miss you gals!
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Ooooh--I cannot stand it when people slow down to a stop while turning right--or when people slow down at a GREEN light (it's not even yellow) so they make it through and you don't!!!
Hahahaha--I also hate TP that goes under--it's supposed to be OVER, people!
I miss you too, DeRay! We all need to get together at some point!
Melinda
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As you know, Melinda, I'm way too at peace with the universe to have any "pet peeves." I do remember, however, from back before I became so enlightened, something even worse than automated telemarketer calls: automated calls, often from doctors' offices, that say something like "we need to talk to you about an urgent matter. Please call this number:...," meaning that, though they can't take the time to have a real person call me, I'm expected to call them (only to get an automated voice mail system). I mean, is there a more blatant way of saying "our time is more valuable than yours?" (Though, needless to say, doctors have had numerous ways of saying that for a long time...).
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Uh-oh! Does having a list of pet peeves mean I have to give back my award for being a 'Flotating, Glowing, Being of Pure Love?" I sure as heck hope not--as this is the biggest sign yet that I might actually go to heaven (or the place where Floating, Glowing, Beings of Pure Love go when all is said and done."
And thanks for the reminder--just about everything concerning doctors (or medical care in the U.S. for that matter) is on my ever-growing list of Pet Peeves (and yes, that does deserve a capital there!).
Hahahahaha--I always enjoy your comments, Jay--
Melinda
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Hi Melinda!
The responses to your post were as hilarious as your post! I actually don't have any pet peeves. Hmmm. I don't have any opinion on which way the TP should roll. Either way is fine with me. I don't particularly like getting lectured, but then again, I doubt anyone LIKES it.
Ooh, I am not very worked up today. I should come back on another day I am worked up and ready to rant. I am feeling very non-judgmental today.
I really enjoyed the post though! I will come back when I think of something good... --ST
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OMG!!! ST--It's so good to see you! I am so remiss in catching up with you and your blog! All my favorite MIA folks are stopping by--and that is so great to see.
I am truly disappointed that you don't have a few pet peeves to throw in the ring! I know you can think of a few--or could it be that life is that wonderful now!?! I hope so.
So great to see you. I was actually just thinking about you this morning (seriously) and thinking the two of us really do need to have a heart to heart.
Melinda
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I too have found this post and the comments to be entertaining. But like yofaforcynics I'm at peace with the universe ... sometimes ... lol
Here are some additions:
The idiots that place "baby on board signs" in their vehicles. Get over yourself idiots even slime molds can reproduce. A human life is a human life is a human life regardless of the chronological age. Obviously, cars cannot drive themselves so there's a human being at the wheel. I consider the implied command that I should be more cautious because there is another younger human being in the vehicle as well as you at the wheel to be an insult to my intelligence, and driving skills. I always drive safely, unlike some of the moms I see dropping off their kids at schools and picking them up again.
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Time Thief!
It's so wonderful to see so many old friends that I haven't seen for a while, stopping by--it's great to see you.
Hahahahahahaha--I totally agree with you re: the b on b signs! This is such a blatant call for attention! Amen--get over yourself!
Thanks for stopping by, TT!
Melinda
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My main pet peeve is the lack of patience that most of us (myself included sometimes!) seem to have towards others. And how quickly we 'anger up' over the smallest issue. Honestly, I think this is one of the things that causes us way more grief, stress and trouble than necessary!
Hehe, that said, I can think of two public transport related pet peeves that bother me, and another that comes from working in an office...
People who are too cheap to fork out for decent iPod headphones, but happily blast their music at top volume on public transport. I always feel like handing those jokers a note that says: "Not everyone on this [tram/train] has the same taste in music as you. Please turn your shit down FFS!"
And then there are those people who hold long and loud phone calls on public transport. The rule with those people seems to be that if they finish their call before their stop, they must start another call almost immediately.
Finally, there's the people who never turn their mobile/cell phone on to silent mode in the office. These are often the same people who leave their phone at their desk for extended periods of time, leaving their co-workers to deal with their horrendous and loud ring tone. Frequently.
Glad you had a vent - it's always a good thing to get it out of your system ;P
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I completely concur with you on the sins of the mobile phone users! And I agree, if you want an iPod, you must get decent headphones so that others are not subjected to the loud (and often obnoxious) music!
Right on, Svasti!
Melinda
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Melinda-I really wanted to contribute to this discussion and not sound like a total stuffshirt, but I couldn't think of a single thing. So I guess my pet peeve at the moment is that I don't have any pet peeves. I'm too mellow, yuck! Number 16 on your list really made me laugh. Because I feel my whole life is one huge hyperbole.
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Hahahahaha--why does that not surprise me?!
(Although I have extra pet peeves if you would be interested in borrowing some!).
Glad I could make you smile--it made me smile to come up with this list!
Melinda
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That's quite a list.
Personally I have to do a lot of deep breathing! Had to this morning in a shop where I handed over my purchase and the cashier and other shop assistant carried on a private conversation throughout my transaction.
I got a little bit shirty to say the least. But, there again, what does it all matter.
Mike
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Hahahahaha, Mike--ain't that the truth!
Melinda
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Hey Melinda! Excellent post!
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Sami! How nice to see you, my friend! I completely agree that the car manufacturers should have gone much further in developing energy efficient/green cars. It is really scary what is going on with our environment--and I think there is still not nearly enough emphasis. Most people still do not get it!
Thanks for stopping by!
Melinda
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Hey Melinda, great post and great responses! Even I, another recipient of Jay'sFloating Glowing Being of Pure Love Award,yes...even I have a pet peeve or two.
Evangelical television, any station, just the fact that they exist on the earth with me drives me insane. Those people look like they came from another planet - the hair, makeup, southern accents - and I don't see how anyone relates to them, let alone watches the trash, let alone sends money to them by calling those 1-800 numbers that stay on screen. I called one night just to tell them how disgusted they made me (it was during the Dubya days, when these people irritated me even more than they do now).
People in our neighborhood who walk their large dogs and allow their large dogs to go against City regulations and poop on the sidewalks and streets. Well, the City doesn't really regulate that particular natural function but it does regulate the function's remains remaining on the pavement for the rest of us to step in.....we who are walking our large dogs while we carry our biodegradable doggie poop pick-up bags.
People who use those highly-scented dryer strips in their dryers, especially noticeable on beautiful summer nights because we spend time outside. The stink overwhelms any natural summer scents in the air and I think it's putrid. Not only that, I bet it confuses the hell out of honeybees, butterflies, some birds...those among us who use scent as a guide in life.
I will leave it at that for tonight. Thanks for the opportunity to get some things off my chest.
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Glad to oblige, Lydia! And yes--there were some great responses, I agree!
I completely agree with you on both the televangelicals! In fact, I really believe that what they do should be considered a scam/illegal. Seeing them become rich on the poor people they prey on is nothing short of criminal, in my opinion.
And people who don't clean up after their dogs? For shame! That's part of having a dog--and if a person cannot commit fully to all the responsibilities, then that person should not have a dog!
Thanks for stopping by and the smile!
Melinda
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Oh, me three! Remember Jim and Tammy Bakker? Air conditioned dog houses, for mercy's sake (not to mention paying off Jessica Hahn) all funded by little old ladies on pensions, living in sweltering conditions. Scam artists, the lot of them, and they should ALL be shut down.
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Ohhhhhhhhhhhh---that just chaps my hide! Those people are such bottom feeders!
Melinda
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Melinda, I just found your website and I love it! And I ALWAYS wanted to be named "Melinda" when I was a kid.
Two pet peeves come to mind. 1. When you ask a cashier "How's your day going?" and they reply with anything that has to do with their break. I don't want to know when you get your break. I don't want to know how much you look forward to your break. You're supposed to pretend you're enjoying helping ME!
2. Women who leave their butt paper (the stupid seat cover paper) on the seat after they use the bathroom. For one thing, I refuse to believe that a small piece of tissue paper is going to protect me from all the big bad germies in the bathroom. If you want to use one, fine. But don't make me have to deal with your used butt paper!
Thanks. I'm feeling much better now!
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Hey Leslie,
Thanks for stopping by! Hahahahahahaha--I so agree with you on the butt paper. The only thing that is worse is when women leave little 'sprinkles' on the seat because they are too paranoid to sit (so they stand) or they are too lazy to even bother to use the 'butt covers.'
I also agree with you on the people regarding their breaks! Exactly! You are supposed to be thrilled to be helping ME!
Melinda
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I've given up being annoyed, ha!ha! I live in a farmer/cowboy community that does not value education or personal growth, has a huge addictive population, and a soon to be larger homeless and paroled population--untenable--Modesto. I can't sell the house I have inherited, and am just not a central valley person. In order to survive without putting myself into a grim depression I've decided to hide in my own house with its security doors, play classical music and ignore the idiots around me. I prefer the company of immigrants who are doing something constructive with their lives than the 8th generation Oakies inbreeding and collecting welfare. Emotional survival has taken on quite a different perspective. If you live by yourself you don't have to be annoyed by anybody's shortcomings but your own
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Hahahaha! I am very familiar with Modesto! I spent a few months there doing children's theater--and while I really enjoyed doing theater, I really could not stand Modesto.
I definitely know what it's like--being stuck somewhere, where you don't feel a kinship with the community. I felt that way about Cleveland, Ohio and Pennsylvania, when I lived there.
Hang in--and enjoy that classical music!
Melinda
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Thanks for your condolences
Norine
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Norine--I know there is a real problem with drugs in Modesto, as there is in many similar towns--meth is a huge problem. Thanks so much for stopping by!
Melinda
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