One Night in Amarillo (or 'Be Afraid--Be VERY Afraid!')
Michael and I decided to take the long way around on our way from San Francisco to Cleveland, Ohio, dipping south into Los Angeles for a brief visit with the aunt and uncle who had partially raised him. If we had not taken that particular route, it is doubtful we would have spent a minute in Amarillo, Texas and as soon as we arrived there, I sure wished we had not taken that long way to Cleveland.
Most junkies try ‘the geographical cure’ to get away from drugs at one point or another—which is precisely what MIchael and I had in mind moving back to Cleveland. It wasn't the first time we tried this strategy.
Heroin had kicked our asses ever since Michael and I met and within a year of living together in San Francisco, our habits were raging beyond control. After receiving a small settlement for a worker’s compensation claim of Michael’s, we bought a Dodge Ram pickup truck, washed in primer gray and decided to move back to Michael’s hometown of Cleveland, Ohio. Even though we both loved San Francisco, we knew we could never stay clean living there. The plan was to move back to Ohio, where Michael had work as an electrical contractor lined up. We both wanted to stop using heroin.
Before leaving the city, we piled all our belongings onto the back of the truck and I made one final trip to the dealer that morning. I bought all the Percocet, Codeine 3’s, and Valium he had, along with one final gram of heroin to get us on our way and to make it through the visit with his aunt and uncle. We planned it that by the time the heroin ran out, we would be too far to return to San Francisco to get more dope and besides, we would be able to minimize the most brutal of the withdrawal symptoms with the help of the Percocet, Codeine, and Valium.
The best laid plans . . .
Riding shotgun next to Michael, I was so zonked out on valium I could barely see straight. We had run out of heroin almost as soon as we left Los Angeles and we’d been riding a rough kick of withdrawal across the center of the country. I picked up the bottle of Jack Daniels next to me and took a deep swig, trying to quiet the hammering in my brain.
Glancing over at Michael, I knew we were in trouble. I could see that gleam in his eye—a look I knew all too well from experience. Michael had the determined ‘I’m gonna score some drugs’ look I’d seen countless times before. Within a minute or two, my fears were realized as I learned what he had in mind.
Noticing the signs littering the road, I realized we were heading into Amarillo, TX—and with that, a feeling of dread began growing inside me. Texas drug busts and the state’s extremely harsh sentencing laws are well known to almost anyone who does drugs. Texas is no place to fuck around trying to score drugs—the laws are far harsher than California’s. Moreover, we did not even know where to score in Amarillo.
I had also had a previous experience with Amarillo, Texas, which did not bode well. The New Shakespeare Company had spent a night there while on tour years earlier. After dinner, several of us had gone to a downtown disco, where we began dancing wildly on the club’s floor. As soon as we began, we could sense the patrons’ eyes on Kent, and Bunker (two male actors in the company) who were dancing together. The club’s manager came over and told them to stop. Shocked, we all sat down, stunned that the club was demanding this of our friends. (We most definitely were not in San Francisco any longer, Toto!). Defiantly, my roommate Jen and I began a sensual dance together, which no one in the club seemed to mind at all. When I pointed out the double standard of the rules, concerning men vs. women, the manager threw us out. As we left, we raised quite a ruckus and the police showed up. Based on that one experience, I wanted nothing to do with Amarillo.
Michael had no idea where to score drugs in Amarillo so he started cruising downtown streets, looking for ‘cool’ people (or so he said) as they walked in and out of bars. As hungry as I was for drugs, I wanted to abort the mission—I just couldn’t shake the bad feeling that kept growing. I have always had premonitions about certain things and some of the biggest predicaments I have found myself in resulted from not following my heart.
Suddenly, the truck screeched to a halt, as Michael spotted what he thought was a potential drug connection on the street. Before I could stop him, Michael rolled down the window of the truck and barked out to the man, “Hey—how’s it going? I got a set of works (a syringe) and I am looking for some dope—can you tighten me up?”
The man he stopped did a double take in surprise, then walked slowly over to the truck. I could see him glancing around the truck’s interior, sizing up the situation. I didn’t like the looks of the dude. The man’s eyes narrowed as he looked at Michael. “Sure man, I can help you out—no problem at all. My car is right down the street—follow me, I will be happy to hook you up.”
Something wasn’t right. As soon as he walked out of hearing distance, I turned to Michael and told him we should just take off, get back on the highway, and get to Cleveland as fast as possible. More dope wasn’t going to help us anyway—eventually we were going to have to go through the hard kick we had coming and at this point, we already had two days of withdrawal behind us. Getting high tonight would just delay the inevitable—but deterring Michael when he decided to score drugs was never possible.
Michael was as stubborn as I was and once he set his mind to something, there was no turning back. We followed the guy to his vehicle and when he motioned us to follow him, we did—there was no turning back.
The sinking feeling turned to dread as soon as I saw where we were heading. The man had actually had us follow him to the police station. Not only were we dumb enough to ask a total stranger, in Amarillo, Texas, where we could score dope, we were stupid enough to follow that stranger right to the police station. We might as well have been carrying a huge sign on the back of the truck that said, “Stupid Folks on Board—Please Bust Us.”
Fortunately, we had no heroin in the car, which meant the only charge was for drug paraphernalia. I had stashed the pills in a vitamin bottle, which unbelievably, the police never checked the contents. The cops never arrested me at all but Michael spent a rough night in the Amarillo jail and I spent the night in the cab of our truck, eating more valium and Percocet while I cursed Michael for trying to score in Texas of all places. I considered leaving him in jail and taking off in the truck on my own—but I bailed him out the next morning as soon as he saw the judge. We could not get out of Amarillo or Texas quickly enough—and I have never been back since.
The next place we ran into some trouble was in Joplin, Missouri, which started with a combination pawn shop/liquor store that caught our eye called “Bullets and Booze” (great combination, folks!). But then, that’s a story for another day.
Peace,
Melinda
Played: 710 | Download | Duration: 00:08:03
Categories: Withdrawal,Addiction,Heroin,Personal Stories,Drugs
Tags: amarillo texas getting busted heroin withdfrawal road trips kicking heroin
this post reminded me of how while we may be one great big united states of america, states and their cultures vary widely. your brave to share your stories, melinda. i always learn something - mostly about how much it is possible to overcome.
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Aw, thanks so much, Jen--and I so agree with you as to the varying cultures of the different parts of the country. It can be as different as night and day, really!
Melinda
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Such great story-telling! I get all wrapped up in your stories in real delight and must remind myself that they are about serious matters, life-and-death matters on occasion.
Love the cheery postcard. Those "Greetings" in light of your story are funny as hell.
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Hahahahahahaha, Lydia--I am glad you enjoyed it! It was fun to write as well!
Melinda
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Sounds like another "lucky" escape for you two! Amazing story though.
Just saw a series of photos on The Big Picture about the 2009 UN World Drug report and thought you'd be interested to see them!
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Hey Svasti--it sure was a lucky escape--and we had several of them!
Thanks for passing along that link--the horrors of addiction in Afghanistan are truly out of control. I passed that link on to a few people I know who are interested in that also--so thanks again.
Melinda
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You write and recount stories wonderfully. It's only when reading stories such as yours that I realise how pedestrian my life has been (but then perhaps if you live in the middle of chaos, you yearn for a more pedestrian life?)
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Hi Jonathan,
Sorry for the delay in responding--I have been in flight all day. Thank you so much for the kind words about my writing--it means a great deal to me. Also, you have a good point--since my life has been very chaotic (until I entered recovery), I do tend to crave serenity these days.
Thanks, as always, for stopping by--
Melinda
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Another well told story, Melinda. Get that book done!
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I'm working on it, Mike--thanks so much for stopping by!
Melinda
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Melinda-ever thought of becoming a screenwriter? Your descriptions are so vivid I can see every event as if it were unfolding right before my eyes. Do you think things would be different if heroin weren't illegal? It seems so much of the damage and degradation associated with it involves this constant struggle with the law.
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Hey NP--I would love to write a screenplay--and in fact, it might be that I will write a screenplay of my memoir! Who knows?
Absolutely--a good deal of damage to a person stems from the illegality of drugs--and this is because as long as drugs are illegal, people in our society consider substance abuse to be a legal/moral issue rather than a health concern, which I really believe that it is. At the very least, we need to decriminalize drugs so that we DO start considering it a health issue--and I strongly believe it should be as easy to get into treatment as it is to buy a drug on the street.
Thanks for stopping by, NP!
Melinda
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Thanks to B.C that introduced me to this great writer known as Melinda Roberts Tyler.
Melinda, your way of recalling and writing your past memories is very impressive. I have read so many posts of Melindaville to know a lot about today's Melinda's personality. I think you still trust people like you did while following the guy who had taken you to the police station.
I appreciate this quality in your personality.
Melinda, I enjoyed reading this whole post. In particular, the conversation betwen Micheal and his "guide". (the guy who guided you straight to the police station).
Melinda, You are my teacher in blogging, I am learning to write, learning to share and learning to dare for a purpose wich I think is surely fair!!!
Wish you all the best!
Ibn Hanif
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Hahahahahahaha, Ibn Hanif! You do know me rather well--and you are so right--trusting people is still so central to my personality. And you know, I am glad I still trust people and I hope that quality never changes in me.
Ibn Hanif--thank you so much for your kind words--but you know, my friend, you are MY teacher as well. I am so honored to know you and call you my friend.
Thank you so much for coming by--
Melinda
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You have so many adventures -- and you are so funny in the retelling! I think that is part of the key to writing about a painful past, to bring some humor to it.
I look forward to reading about Joplin, MO with its Bullets and Booze. I have seen a few liquor stores where they advertise the combination, which is a very frightening thing during hunting season.
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I completely agree with you regarding the combination liquor and pawn shops being frightening--of course during hunting season--but any time of the year! I don't think they should be legal, really.
Thanks for stopping by!
Melinda
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Hi, Melinda -
I just discovered your blog...great story telling! I'm glad you're living a different way now!
- Marie (Coming Out of the Trees)
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Hi Marie,
Thanks so much for stopping by! And you can believe that I am also glad to be living in a better, healthier way--and not a day goes by that I am not grateful for that.
I look forward to checking out your blog!
Melinda
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Geographical cures, alas, never seem to work much for anything...not in the long run, at least.
And, in the immortal words of David Crosby: "if you're gonna get busted, don't do it in Texas!"
Even if Amarillo has such a musical name...almost a song in itself...
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Hey Jay--you are so right about that--the geographical cure never worked for me!
Ha ha ha ha ha--leave it to David Crosby to be spot on about TX!
Melinda
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Hi Melinda!! How are you? I read it earlier, but didn't had the time to post a comment.
I really had an clear image in mind when I read your post! Like many others said, you have a vivid way of writing. You can really capture the reader in your story with words woven in fluent sentences. Your sentences are so easily transformed in images! I'm always curious what you post ^_^! Thanks for sharing this bit of your past with us! Take care *waves*
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Hey TJ--I am well and hope you are the same. I've been busy traveling with Les and need to catch up on my blogging activities!
Thank you so much for your wonderful comments about my story--that means so much to me!
Take care,
Melinda
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You're very very welcome ^_^! I'm doing okay. I have a major cold, so I'm sneezing all day and my voice is kinda gone. Have to say, it can sound kinda cool hahah. But besides that, I'm very busy with school and illustrations (the orders are dipping in! I'm soo excited!). Have fun traveling around and write you soon!
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TJ--that is SO great about the illustration orders! Woo hoo for YOU!
Sorry to hear you are sick with a cold--take good care--drink lots of fluids and be sure to get as much rest as possible (yada yada yada). I know what you mean--voices are always sexy sounding when touched with a bit of laryngitis!
Take care!
Melinda
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yes Amarillo sucks and Texas drug laws are horrible, I was raised and currently living in amarillo,and i can score all day. I've also lived in joplin,mo sounds so parallel. HOW DID YOU KICK?
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I kicked going through detox, which took about 30 days and then directly from there, I went into a comprehensive treatment center--which is really the key. Quitting is easy--I had done it many times in the past--but staying clean is the real issue. If I had gone back to my environment after detox, undoubtedly, I would have gotten addicted again and it would have been another variation of the same old story!
Thanks for stopping by!
Melinda
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