The Little Girl in the Picture
I’ve often looked at a picture my mother has of me as a very young child and wondered what type of person I might have been had I never been abused by my father. How might have my life been different? How might I have turned out? Only recently have I realized I no longer think of that so much—healing is wonderful.
I was around age two when my father physically beat me for the first and only time. My father cared for my sister and me while my mother worked nights on the linotype machine at the local newspaper. We had not been in the U.S. long and while I don’t remember much about that period, I remember feelings of real anxiety. No doubt, I picked this up from my parents, who had just made the biggest move of their lives.
I don’t recall what triggered the beating—likely I was just fussy and crabby as young children often are. What I do remember is my father hitting me, repeatedly—not only on my bottom but also on my arms, my legs—everywhere. As I was screaming out in pain and fear, I remember him yelling, “Stop crying! Stop crying!” Even at my young age, I remember thinking with some incredulity, 'if you stop hitting me, I will stop crying'. He just didn’t get it.
I was still whimpering when my mother arrived home from work. As soon as she walked in the house, I ran to her and hid behind her winter coat. As she drank in the situation, looking from my father to my upward turned face, I remember her saying, “She’s scared of you! That’s no good!” Years later, she told me she warned him never to hit me again—that she would do all the discipline of her children. If I needed a spanking, she would administer it.
He never hit me again but he did much worse. Not long after that, deep into the nights, my father began sneaking into the bedroom my sister and I shared. That was the beginning of the molestation but it lasted literally years. As far as I know, my sister never awakened in those early days. If she did, she never spoke of it. Not long after, we moved to a new house, where we each had our own rooms. After that, the abuse increased a lot.
Up until quite recently, I spent a good deal of my life wondering why my father hated me so much—why he had abused me. Abused children take ownership of the abuse and that is one of the great tragedies. Throughout my life, I knew it was something in me that caused the abuse. I carried the abuse torch on long after he did—when his abuse stopped, my self-destruction started.
It was not until years into my recovery from heroin addiction that I began understanding that his abuse had nothing to do with me but had everything to do with him. One of the most freeing experiences I’ve ever had was in confronting him—something I did in 2004, when I burst into his apartment at the assisted living center he resided in, demanding we talk about my childhood. How important it was for me to look at this man—this monster who had held my childhood in terror for so many years and declare victory on my life. I had won—he had not. I had survived. Although he never really owned up to it—we shared a look that was validating. Taken by surprise, I’ll never forget when he looked into my eyes and said, “That was bad.” Yes. That was bad. We both faced the truth that day, albeit only for a moment. He died only a few weeks after. Perhaps I helped him along to his death. I don’t know and to be quite honest, I don’t care. The monster was finally dead and I was free.
Completing the rough draft of my memoir was also an astonishing experience because I was re-experiencing the pain, the trauma, and the fear—and after I did that, something changed inside. The nightmares stopped, I became happier and more balanced—it was as though I’d surgically cut out a festering sore deep inside my psyche. I was mostly able to let it go, although I realize that we don’t ever ‘recover’ from childhood abuse—we are always ‘in recovery’ because the scars run so deep. Nevertheless, at this point, they have mostly faded.
April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month and this post is my dedication to the subject. Abuse of children is not simply a family problem, but a societal problem. Abused children often grow up to be destructive, to either themselves or others. Simply put, this affects us all. If you suspect child abuse, please don’t sit by silently. Make a call. Save a life.
I received an email from a reader, Jack Pryor, who wanted to pass along a link to a song he wrote called, “Victory” for a good friend who had multiple experiences of child abuse. I think this song will touch both those who are abuse survivors and those who never were that unlucky. I’d like to end this post by passing the link on to all of you: Jack Pryor’s Victory Song.
Peace,
Melinda
Played: 1549 | Download | Duration: 00:05:32
Categories: Sexual Abuse,Recovery,Childhood,Healing the Past,Personal Stories,Memories
Tags: survival National Child Abuse Prevention Month overcoming trauma healing sexual abuse recovery
Melinda,
Thank you for sharing so poingantly and honest. It really stirred things around inside of me. Some of which I push down and some of what I have faced. I am so sorry that those things happened to you.
I know for me, I'm not glad they happened, but I know that it has made me who I am which isn't all that bad. I came out pretty good. But, I could have been better in a good home environment. My therapist says that I could have really been someone big like an Oprah or Hilary Clinton (but, I would have won the presidency!). I still can be "someone" as I heal and see the light at the end of the tunnel. At least, I hope it is light and not another on coming train.
Thanks so much for your candor...it is helpful to me.
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Dearest CC,
I'm so glad it was helpful to you. I know what you mean about things getting stirred up--that's what I mean by being 'in recovery' rather than 'recovering' because we never can never undo the past--there will always be traces of what happened to us.
You have come so far, CC--I would not be surprised at anything you acheived. I think your therapist is right--but I would say there is still nothing you cannot do. (Remember one of my favorite saying is, "nothing ventured, nothing gained!"
I think you will find the longer you are in recovery, the easier it is to quell the negative thought patterns that we can experience so easily. We are survivors, CC! You and I--and we both lived and how wonderful is that!?
Thank you so much for your presence in my life--we both help each other.
Melinda
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What confirmation your words have been for me this morning! I made a call to child protective services this morning to report someone in my own extended family. It was a tough decision but I knew I needed to call. This child's mental illness is being blamed for everything and despite his cries for help, no one is listening. My only regret is that I didn't call months ago. When I have brought up my concerns in the past, I was told that while they too were concerned, it wasn't my place because he was a difficult child and I didn't know the whole story because I only recently married into the family. Last night, I reached my breaking point when I heard the most recent turn of events. We are thousands of miles away but SOMEONE has to say something.
The CPS worker I talked to this morning gave me a very good rule of thumb: "If someone tells you that it is none of your business, then that is the red flag to MAKE it your business."
I have often wondered how my life would have turned out if someone had decided to make it their business. The signs were there and like this child in my family, I was screaming for help. I have very few pictures of me as a child but it is shocking to see a picture "before" the abuse began and then another picture of "after" the abuse started.
I am not to the point where I am happy with how I have turned out because I am still in the thick of recovering. However, it is so very encouraging to see how far you have come; it gives me hope that I can get there too.
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Shattered--I am so glad you made that call! Although there are exceptions to this rule, most childhood psychological problems stem from something--they don't often manifest for no reason at all. I wonder if it occurs to the people in your extended family that perhaps this child is having such extreme behavioral problems because he is being abused? At least you did make the call--and hopefully, the child will get the help he deserves.
If you keep on in your recovery, you will get to a place of true healing--I honestly believe that. It will be hard at times (and to be honest, I still have hard times) but you can reach a point where the abuse will be a faded, painful memory--and not something that enters your thoughts on their own whim.
You take care of yourself--and know that you did the right thing. Every abused child needs a champion such as you.
Here's a ((((((hug))))),
Melinda
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<3
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Thank you, Shane.
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You know, I think the essence of who you are would be the same, no matter what - the wonderful and brave Melinda we know.
As you say, the victory here is your freedom, that you recovered, survived and that you're now truly happy, with yourself and your life.
Your story sprung visuals in my mind, like shadow puppets. How horrible and frightening it must have been for you. I just can't imagine.
I have no memories from the age of 2, and very few at all from my childhood. My niece is 2, and when I look at her, I'm incredulous that anyone could hurt such a young child.
Writing is definitely a way of clearing a lot of stuff - I've found this is the case for me as well.
The more people write about what they've been through, the easier it becomes for others to take action against such heinous behaviour.
How wonderful for @shattered to find strength in your words.
This is a wonderful post. Thanks for sharing so candidly.
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Thank you, Svasti!
You know, since I began writing the memoir, I have told so many people that I feel everyone should undertake such a project, even if they never have a desire to publish it--because it is so cathartic.
I feel so fiercely protective of children (and animals for that matter) because no child should ever have to endure what I did (and CC and Shattered--and millons of others). Childhood should be a time of innocense, discovery, and love--no child should ever have to suffer in such a manner.
As always, I appreciate your thoughtful comments--
Melinda
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What a strong woman you are!!!Your post was beautiful because it was simple.
This simplicity shows on its own how far you have come. Peace!
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Thank you so much, angelshair--I appreciate your stopping by--
Melinda
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I admire you alot for being able to share such a pain. *Hug*
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Thank you, Raya--your stopping by means a lot to me.
Melinda
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That is very unfortunate and wrong, what your father did to you. It's good he knew that he did you wrong, too, because some deny it until they have gone from their death beds.
One thing that pulls at my heart strings is when I get a gut feeling that a certain child I see is abused - then I look closer and actually see the bruises and marks; that makes me SO infuriated, that I know what's happening to this child, but I 'shouldn't get involved'. I think that is a big problem in this society as well, this 'not getting involved' philosophy.
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Thank you so much for your comments. I agree with you that there is a problem in just about every society as far as getting involved goes. But I strongly believe that it is every person's responsibility to make a call to someone if they suspect abuse of a child. Abuses ruins lives--it nearly ruined mine.
I appreciate your stopping by--
Melinda
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Melinda, I appreciate your honesty and transparency. I am so very sorry for the abuse in your life!!!!
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Thank you so much for stopping by--
Melinda
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Every experience is meaningful for what it teaches you about the self and why you exist now. From the moment you take responsibility for self- healing, you detach from a victim mentality and recognze the depth of good each percived hardship does. Focusing on blame, guilt or any other negative energy does not serve you unless you learn to work through and let it go. You are who you are today because of every choice you make. Each experience shapes your personality. As you mature, you outgrow and discard attitudes and perspectives that no longer serve you.
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I agree that it is important to move past the painful experiences we have in life-- because they can own you (they did for me for many years). And during the course of each person's life, one has to decide to take responsibility and to move past those events from hte past.
Thanks as always for your thoughtful comments and wonderful insight, Liara--
Melinda
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Confronting your father must have been so cathartic, heartbreaking, and empowering all at once. At the same time you wonder about what kind of person you would have been without the abuse, you clearly own your experience and are a fascinating, strong woman with a sensitivity for life many people lack.
I too wonder what kind of person I would be today if my father hadn't gone to prison and my mother didn't have her breakdown. At the same time I wonder if I would be a stronger, more successful person, I also wonder if my experiences are what make me interesting and give me depth.
Wonderful post. Thank you for sharing this. It must have been incredibly painful and difficult to revisit these events.
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Stillthinking, you are absolutely right--it was cathartic, heartbreaking and empowering (mostly empowering).
I do think we are the sum of our experiences--both good and bad--so perhaps each of us would be different but we all need to take what we are given and do the best we can with that.
And yes, revisiting the past was very difficult to write about, particularly the periods of my childhood and the worst years of my addiction--but like confronting my father, it has also been an important step to overall healing.
Thanks for stopping by--
Melinda
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I'm glad that you were able to heal yourself from such awful abuse. Whoever could do such a thing to a child is nothing more than a monster in my eyes. Thanks for sharing such a personal and emotional experience... these things can't be swept under the rug and ignored. More people need to speak out against child abuse in any form.
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I agree, Mike--more people need to speak up about it. It is a subject that makes most people very uncomfortable but it is only through advocacy and education that we can change things.
Thanks for stopping by!
Melinda
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Melinda,
I've stopped by a couple of times over the past day and find that the words just aren't coming for me when I get to this little comment box. So I just want to say that you are truly an inspiration to anyone who has been an abused child. Even if the abuse is mainly of the emotional variety (which is tough to define and less obvious), we carry it with us, but it isn't doesn't define us.
Thank you.
Jennifer
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Thanks so much, Jennifer--I know it is hard to sometimes find the words to comment on these issues because they are overwhelming to so many people.
You know that I feel that emotional abuse is as damaging as any other kind--maybe even more so. Because emotional abuse is always thought to be 'not as bad' the damage from it is often not considered as important as it should be. All abuse of children is harmful--it doesn't matter what kind it is--it all leaves its mark and all take a lifetime to overcome.
Thanks as always for stopping by,
Melinda
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It's interesting to note that often those who prevent children from getting help for the abuse they suffer are the ultimate keepers of the secret - family. Tragedy upon tragedy.
"That was bad." Not much of an admission, but it was something. Still, so stale, so underwhelming. You have declared victory!!!! "That was bad." - More appropriate to be said of a teenager stealing a parent's car to go joy riding or an angry wife cutting holes in a cheating husband's socks. But, molesting your own innocent child? Deserving of a millstone around the neck - and cast into the deepest ocean. *This* is what God has recommended for such people.
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Hey Jen--you really hit the nail on the head--those who are the keepers of the secrets play a huge role in perpetuating abuse. Abusers rely on people to carry their secrets--if they don't, then the abuse is discovered.
Yes, his "that was bad" was not much of an admission--but if you knew my father, you'd realize how important an admission it was. He always denied, denied, denied. I think my father never really understood the horror of what he did--I believe he thought I was responsible for the destruction of his marriage and any harm that came to me was my just desserts. And I have spent a lot of time analyzing this, of course.
Thanks so much for stopping by--I appreciate it.
Melinda
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Melinda: I can relate to your story in so many ways, in fact, I have been holding on to (going on 7) blogs that I have written on the subject of abuse. I too, was "taken advantage of" as a child. But for me, very shy and being frightened of my own shadow for years, I became a 'serial victim'. I have started my own blog to help others understand exactly what goes on behind the pain. It's an attempt to make others understand the severity of the legacy of abuse. I've been holding onto these blogs because I'm afraid they are too graphic, too real. But for some reason that is what makes the process such a healing thing to do (for me). I know you had to have your reservations about going public, can you share your thoughts on this. I truly believe that most victims would like to scream at the top of their lungs, "won't someone listen to me, take me seriously and realize I've been hurt, affected and bruised by what has happened to me"! And to know that it continues today with children all the time, and more and more debilitating lives are in our future. I would rather be an anonymous blogger, any advise on that as well? If you like what I post, I would be glad to support your link. But I think I'm going to wait on your response, my anxiety is high, but this is something I really want to do. Thank you very much.
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Dear Tanya--I think most of us who were abused as children feel like screaming from the top of their lungs. It is so disheartening to have to hold those terrible secrets deep inside oneself for so long. Finally (for me) it just erupted when I started intensive therapy. All of a sudden, I had no choice other than to finally confront my mother about the 'secrets' and then I confronted my father a few years later.
It's easy to become a 'serial victim'--because you learn how to be a victim and it is hard to just turn that off. But that is what real recovery is, I think--for me, I had to take complete responsibility for my life and my behaviors and to stop blaming others for the way my life turned out. Of course, my father's actions played a huge role--but at some point, we all need to take ownership of our lives and where we are going.
I think blogging about past abuse is a great way to deal with the trauma--both this blog and writing my memoir has helped me enormously. I don't think it is necessary for one to 'go public' for it to have the same cathartic effect--and really this is a decision that each person needs to make for her/himself.
The reason I decided to go public with my entire story was because I felt it was so important that people in our society understand that treatment works--because only if our society believes treatment works will money be allocated for free and available treatment, which I am a huge advocate of.
If it were just the childhood abuse, I am not sure I would have gone public--but I feel strongly that people like me--people who are success stories, need to come forward and go public. This is why I am telling my story and writing my book.
With the proceeds of the book, I hope to launch my Melindaville Foundation, which will help addicts (particularly women in the sex industry) get into treatment and perhaps even pay for their college or other job training. So, I have a particular 'cause'
I would love to visit your blog and I think many of my readers would as well. If you want to come back and provide a link, I would certainly visit and perhaps even link to it if you are interested.
Take care of yourself, Tanya--and please let me know what you decide.
Melinda
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Thank you for your response, I really appreciate it. I feel the need, after reading your response, to let you know that I have been sharing these personal (generic) experiences for years. I was a public speaker, and some of my tips were televised through "Women in Broadcasting". That particular program was in regard to "Stalking". My campaign has been the prevention of abuse, indeed, Taking Responsibility for Your Safety. I backed out of doing anymore public appearances when my first child was born. Now that they are teenagers and young adults I feel this is extremely important, a calling actually. Families could always use information on how to better protect themselves. Thank you very much, I will let you know how things go. I wish you the very best Melinda. tj
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Tanya,
Thank you for stopping by again. How great it is that you are taking your own bad experiences and turning them into a positive by helping so many others. It is through our service to others that our lives become more meaningful--I truly believe that. The world will be a better place with your positive influence in helping families and young women learn to better protect themselves.
Please do let me know how it goes--and also, please let me know if I can do anything to help you along the way. I wish you all the best in your endeavors.
Peace,
Melinda
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Hi, Melinda -
So powerful and moving! It is so dreadful that children take everything on themselves, as you did with the horrifying abuse you suffered. That is the worst hurt of all to be inflicted on a child by a parent at a time of such growth and emerging awareness. So many of us have been taught to take blame by parents who could not face a truth and refused each day to see what they were really doing.
By taking the blame, a child is trying to survive, to preserve at least the illusion of order and security. I once read a story about a boy of three whose father beat him on the head so mercilessly that he later died. But right after the beating, alone in his room, the boy sensed the terrible damage and ran to his father, crying Daddy, Daddy, something's wrong. Where else can a child go for safety but right back to the source of his suffering? It's an impossible trap, but taking the blame must do something to make even a damaged survival possible. Seeing myself as the cause, of course, becomes so much a part of who I am that I still believe it long after I know the truth of what happened.
You bring this tragic phase to life so vividly in this post - and bravely. It must take a lot out of you to recreate such a time. Your willingness to do it sounds a chorus about your determination to help others learn from what you've been through.
I can feel only love and a wish to be able to reach out to the little girl you were and an abiding anger at the parents who betray such unquestioning trust. As you say, it is a miracle you not only came through it alive but also recovered your true self.
All love to you, Melinda --
John
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Hi John,
Thank you so much for your comments. I agree that the worst aspect of child abuse is the fact that those who are victims tend to take on the blame of the abuse (which usually leads to self-destructive behavior).
The story you wrote about the little boy was so tragic--and also rang terribly true with me also. Even when my father did such terrible things, I sought his approval constantly--and honestly, this was a struggle I had for many years. It was not until very recently that I came to terms with the fact that he alone had been at blame--and that the abuse had really never had anything to do with me.
Take care, John--and thank you again.
Melinda
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Melinda, thank you so much for your visit and encouraging words for me during my time of struggle! So much appreciated!
Thank you again for sharing your life story. There is so much to read, but I know it has been so much for you to live also.
Blessings!
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You are so welcome! I'm glad I could be of some help to you.
Wishing you peace and light--
Melinda
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I'd read this post before but I came back to read it out to a friend and had to comment. She told me she saw her aunt's husband 'fingering' their nine month old daughter. He jerked back and blustered out when she came into the room. As horrifying as that is, what apalled me even more was that she kept quiet about it! I logged on instantly and read this out to her. She said what of if she talks and breaks up the family? Should such a man be trusted with a family?! She also tried to excuse herself by saying it would be her word against his. I told her except she does something she is no better than that horrible man. And its sure the abuse will continue and get worse. I'm ashamed to call her a friend. There is no worse crime than that against children. I dont know the couple; i dont know where they live but i want to do something to help that innocent baby. What can i do?
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Ladlyf,
With all we know about child abuse--and how prevalent it is, it is horrifying to think that this type of denial is still so rampant. So what if it 'breaks up the family!' It should break up the family--that man should never be around children! It is sure to continue of this man believes that he can get away with it--and it will likely even exacerbate to become even worse (it did for me).
There's no such thing as 'harmless' sexual molestation. An inappropriate touch is as harmful as anything to an innocent child.
If I were you, I would talk to your friend again--and let her know how precarious a situation this is for this child. If she wants to talk to me (as a child abuse survivor and a psychologist), I am happy to do that. Let her know that the abuse will never stop on its own and that she owes it to this poor child to pull the plug on this monster.
If you can at least find out who the child is and call the authorities yourself--if she is not courageous enough to do that, you are! In fact, I would do anything possible to find out who this child is and take it upon yourself to protect her.
Best of luck--and if you need me to talk to your friend, I am happy to do that.
Melinda
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Thank you so much, Melinda. After reading this, my friend and i called the authorities and, you wont believe this, they met a scene at the house. The wife's younger brother caught him with his penis in the baby's mouth! He was pumelling the daylight out of him when the authorities arrived. The monster is in custody now. The baby's mother is quite distraught. She thinks she should have known. We are getting her professional help. The little girl needs and is getting medical help.
Thank you so so much.
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Thank goodness that monster is in jail--and I hope he stays there a long time. I'm happy you are getting the mother professional help--I am sure she must be so distraught.
I'm so glad you were able to talk your friend into calling the authorities--you and she definitely did the right thing!
Melinda
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Melinda Tyler, Though i have not studied psychology but i have always been interested in the study of human nature. I fully agree with your following words :
"Abused children often grow up to be destructive, to either themselves or others".
These words remind me of a serial killer in Lahore, named Javed Iqbal (year 1999 or 98). He himself went to a news paper
and admited to have killed 100 children after having abused them. While telling about his life he informed that he himself was a victom of child abuse. I remember in those days i used to work in a 5 star hotel where i met our hotel's one particular foriegner guest who had come to Lahore just to study about that serial killer.
I think the story of Javed Iqbal gives practical proof of your words wich i have quoted above.
Thank God you have not only successfuly recovered but also you are serving humanity by raising your voice on this very sensitive issue.
I highly appereciate your efforts in this regard and that's why i give you great respect and honor and i have become a fan of your nice blog.
God Bless You Melinda Tyler !
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Ibne Hanif,
Thank you so much for your kind words and for stopping by Melindaville. I very much appreciate it.
Abuse is often cyclical--passed down from one generation to another. While we can better understand people's behavior by looking at their past, we cannot allow people to use their past as an excuse. At some point, we all have to take charge of our lives and claim responsibility for our actions. How terrible that over 100 cihldren died at the hands of this monster.
I am truly dedicated to inspiring hope in others. Just yesterday, I received a call from a woman I counseled over 8 years ago in jail. She wanted to let me know she'd been clean for 5 years (from heroin addiction)and that she was graduating from college this spring. It really made my day/week!
Thanks again for your kind comments.
Melinda
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I recently read a book that is very similar to your story and subject. Like you, the author is very honest and has confronted her past as a way to empower her own life. It is called Silver Platter Girl. She has a blog also called silverplattertalk.com. Check it out. We need all the healing we can get!
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Thank you so much, Gina, for passing along the name of this book and blog to my readers. I will definitely check it out and I believe many of them will as well.
Thank you again!
Melinda
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Hey beautiful sister from another mother: Good for you for confronting your father. Mine died in 1984 at the age of 52. I don't know if I ever would have had the courage to confront him...I always felt like his caretaker in so many ways...truly a love/hate relationship. I got into recovery in 1986...and then realised I was a survivor while doing my first inventory...not fun...although I started drinking when I was 9, and seriously, how many nine year olds are social drinkers? I finally confronted my mother about some things when I felt seriously goaded by her a few years ago...I had always felt protective of her as well...I did not want to hurt her with this information...anyway, 8 years ago I finally told her about some of what had happened, and she looked me straight in the eye and said:"I don't know that that happened. I wasn't in the room." Talk about devastating...I said "Yeah, mom...I'm lying..." and left...I think it's the family conspiracy of silence that is so very destructive...the generally agreed upon dance around the invisible elephant in the living room...and yeah...these wounds never go away...the scars run deep...on some level, I do not trust men...on some level I hate them...and I hate that I feel that way...that I study my brother's behavior around his baby girl for signs of this disease. (He is an awesome dad...not in any way a perpetrator...but that does not matter...on some level, I trust none of them...) Sigh...clearly still there is work to be done...anyway, thanks for telling it like it is.
Love,
Trish
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Tricia--I so get the 'love-hate' relationship you had with your father. I constantly sought my father's approval--but I hated him at the same time. Surviving incest is such a confusing thing for kids--the cues are all warped and wrong. It messed me up for so many years.
I had tried to tell my mother on several occasions about my father's abuse--as early as around six years old and as old as a young adult. It wasn't until very recently, though, that she finally accepted that this had happened. In the days when I was abused, almost no one talked about it--it was just not ever believed. Today, thankfully, there are more child advocates and more people do take steps to contact child protective services. Looking back, I know that teachers and even a guidance counselor should have understood what was going on in my home--but in those days, people just didn't interfere, or talk about sexual abuse.
I understand your hatred of men--and honestly, Tricia--I think for many years, I also hated men. I liked working in the sex industry becasue I felt I had power (for once) over the men I saw (but of course, in reality, the opposite was true). It really wasn't until two things happened that I stopped hating men: 1) I went through counseling, and 2). I met my husband, Les, who restored my faith in men. I hope you can stop hating men--because hatred is so damaging to us.
Here's another hug, my sister (((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))),
Melinda
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Thats really very nice blog, I am impressed.
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Thank you so much for stopping by!
Melinda
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Thats great, I never knew before this blog.
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Thanks for stopping by--
Melinda
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Thats great, I never knew before this blog.
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Thanks for stopping by!
Melinda
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Great ....You have beautifully presented your thought in this blog post.
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Thank you so much!
Melinda
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