Death of a Punk: Remembering Sid Vicious
This week marks the 30th anniversary of the death of Sid Vicious, who was the bass guitarist for the Sex Pistols. [God, I feel really, really old]. He died of a heroin overdose on February 1, 1979—the same night he was released on bail from Riker’s Island where he'd spent 55 days after being charged with the murder of his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen. She died of a single stab wound to the abdomen and bled to death on the floor of their room at the Chelsea Hotel.
Sid in Tulsa, Photograph by Roberta Bayley
Malcolm McLaren, who created the Sex Pistols, once remarked “if Rotten was the voice of punk rock, Vicious was the attitude.” Sid Vicious was not much of a musician—in fact, he had not played the bass guitar before joining the band (and later McLaren would state that he’d hired the members of the group based on their ability to fit the leather jackets). What Sid did have was attitude—and charisma. He was also the quintessential bad boy of punk rock—and in a very short period of time he and the Sex Pistols became icons of punk, inspiring hundreds of burgeoning punk bands on both sides of the Atlantic.
I first came across the Sex Pistols during their American tour of 1978, which turned out to be the band’s swan song. In fact, the band broke up after their final performance at San Francisco’s Winterland Ballroom. I missed the Sex Pistols at the concert that night (I don’t remember why) but I did run across Sid in San Francisco.
I was at San Francisco’s famed Mabuhay Gardens, commonly called “The Mab,” up in the rickety light-booth, with my boyfriend Howard, who worked part time, running lights for the club. Right in the middle of the headlining band’s performance, a deranged-looking guy, stumbled and staggered onto the stage, barely able to stay upright. He ripped his tee shirt off, baring his concave chest. No one knew who he was—and as he was interrupting the band that was headlining, the crowd quickly turned restless, shouting out, “Get off the Stage! Get off the fucking stage you fucking loser!”
Suddenly, the man grabbed a microphone, slurring the words, “I’m SID VICIOUS.” And a hush fell over the crowd . . . momentarily. Grabbing something sharp (a razor blade? a penknife?), Sid began slashing his chest in long, intriguing movements—not enough to cause any real damage but enough to draw a small amount of blood. Needless to say? The crowd went wild.
The knowledge of who he was hit the crowd and they responded,
“We LOVE you Sid!” the crowd now roared.
The Sex Pistols were hugely influential in my life; they represented the anger and rage I had been unable to express. Pissed off just like the rest of my generation, we had missed the love boat of the flower children of the 60’s and early 70’s. We found our own path during the late 1970’s, awakening angrily when the high of the hippie movement had worn off and all that remained was its leftover garbage. I loved punk rock—the angst, the raw heat, and the realness.
When I moved to New York City several years later, I lived for a short time at the Chelsea Hotel, where Nancy Spungen had died and I often thought of them—and what might have really happened to Nancy. I was in New York, performing at Club 57 with the “Wild Women of Borneo,” an all girl punk band that never made it too far. Ironically, the band broke up due to an overdose by the drummer; she hadn't died but had shattered a main nerve in her wrist, leaving her unable to hold drumsticks. Looking back, I am glad our band never made it big—because when you have that kind of money (and following); the drugs flow free and fast. I almost killed myself without all that. I used to envy Sid Vicious, wishing I could be just like him. I still appreciate the contribution the Sex Pistols had on the music world—and the release they gave me during my coming of age—but I no longer envy Sid or any others whose lives were cut so tragically short. Perhaps they died so I would not have to.
Peace,
Melinda
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First thing, wow... you actually saw Sid live and in the flesh! It sounds like history to me. haha.
Well, your article makes me think that it is not easy to escape the society. Freedom is a whole quest during which you can easily get lost.
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Hi Raya,
Yes! Amazingly enough, in the early days of punk rock, the venues were very small--and remember, punk was not the mainstream then. I never partied with the Sex Pistols, but I did with plenty of other bands--mostly the ones from San Francisco, L.A., and NYC.
I thought that was an insightful comment about freedom--very true. Sid was one who definitely got lost along the way.
Thanks for stopping by--
Melinda
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The Pistols are not my favorite punk rock band. They are/were way too wild to me. I'm more into the Ramones or bands like Half Japanese or the kinks. I love how Half Japanese showed (me) the way to play guitar. It's the kind of freedom the mind needs. Play it like you want it to be played. Not following some academic lessons.
I think punk became a mainstream when they stopped freeing their minds from the rules.
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Hi Raya,
I liked the Ramones very much too! One of my friend in New York City (Roberta Bayley--who did the photograph of Sid in the picture on the blog) did the Ramone's first album cover, which many people feel is one of the best punk covers ever.
I thought this was a very insightful statement: "I think punk became a mainstream when they stopped freeing their minds from the rules.
I totally agree with that--but I also knew it became mainstream when you could buy 'punk' clothes in department stores--during the pioneer days, we relied on thrift stores for our wardrobes and food coloring for our hair!
Melinda
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So true. A fashion statement. It's all about posing. Kinda sad. But i guess there're new ways to be a punk today.
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Raya,
Many younger punk rockers have found their voice--but there are also a lot of posers. This would have been true back in the pioneer days as well--except we were so far from the mainstream that no one wanted to pose!
Take care,
Melinda
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Your so lucky to have seen this guy! I caught the Sex Pistols a few years back at the Greek Theater and they were amazing. However I'm sure seeing Sid with the band would have been awe inspiring.
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Hi Alex,
Yes--it was a night I will never forget--and I have thought about him many times. I actually moved into the Chelsea partly because of the legacy of what happened (kind of sick, I know!).
I would have loved seeing the Sex Pistols at the Greek theater--that's a great place. I have seen many bands there.
Thanks so much for stopping by--
Melinda
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Hey Melinda,
There will always be a place in my heart for the Sex Pistols, though I don't listen to them often, these days. I don't think any rock band has ever captured pure rage--the kind where who or what it's directed toward is secondary, that bubbles up from places inside of us we prefer not to think about--like they did--fuck this and fuck that fuckin' all the fucker fucking brat she don't wanna baby that looks like that I don't wanna baby that looks like that....
Interesting take on Sid Viscious...I tend to see him as representing the worst aspects of punk--the contempt for everything, the violence, the self destructiveness...though, of course, I realize that that's kind of what I was singing the praises of in that last paragraph. It's always a fine line, isn't it? Certainly, contrary the dictates of more airy New Agers, negative emotions can't be shoved aside in favor of fake smiles and positive affirmations, but that doesn't mean they're not dangerous.
Nonetheless, my hero among the British punks will always be Joe Strummer, who attempted to channel its raging energy toward social change (and inspired many after him). Then, having been the only kid I knew who loved both the Pistols and the Grateful Dead, I think it's unfortunate that the punk movement in general latched onto the British punk ethos rather than that of Patti Smith (are there better rock albums than Horses? Not too fucking many...) who embraced rather than rejected past, present and future....
Jay
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Hey Jay--
I can't remember the last time I listened to the Sex Pistols--honestly. The view I had of Sid Vicious when I was younger is a little different from how I view him now. Today, I view him as a truly tragic character but when I was younger--like him, I had contempt for everything and while I was not violent to others, I was extremely violent to myself (self mutilation, addiction, etc).
He is a complicated fascinating person--and the Sex Pistols were amazing for what they were. They weren't around all that long and it would have been so interesting to see how they might have evolved had they actually learned to play their instruments and had become a true band in their own right (they never really were, imo--they were always McLarent's 'invention.'
We have a LOT in common--I already had a lot of respect for you and that just went up a couple of notches, since you mentioned my favorite punk album of all time: Horeses. That was genius--plain and simple. I did see Patti Smith at the Mab as well. The early days of punk were so great because the venues were so small and it was so UNmainstream. You could really see the bands in a different way.
Thanks for stopping by--
Melinda
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You brought back so many memories of my adolescence. I loved the Sex Pistols and was heartbroken when Sid died. It must have been incredible to be living in San Francisco during that time. I was stuck in Omaha. I can't wait to read your book.
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Sheena,
Thanks for stopping by (long time-no see!). It was amazing in San Francisco at that time. One thing that the dot.com boom changed (completely) is that the city no longer has the same, vibrant, music scene it once had. Artists and musicians just couldn't keep up with the price of housing. SF used to have great original music--and much of that is no longer there.
But we all move on
Nice to see you again!
Melinda
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...and then their dying or their living was not in vain.
i had a mad crush on someone who liked the sex pistols. this boy had a punk edge about him - burgundy hair, wore torn up jeans and old bowling shoes - old military jackets. my parents thought he was so weird, but i was so taken with him. that was more than 20 years ago. i still wonder why he captivated my eye - excpet that like you said - the hippie movement had come and gone - i was looking for meaning and avenues of self expression. maybe lucky for me that boy married my best friend.
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Hi Jen,
I really do believe that things happen the way they are supposed to. Who knows what might have happened if that boy had not married your best friend. When my mother was lamenting marrying my father, who had abused me, she said that she was sorry that she did. I told her, "Mom, if you had not married dad, I wouldn't be here!" So, I do think things work out the way the yare supposed to.
I was always drawn to the darker side of everything--from a very early age. I was really young in 1978--(I wasn't close to the drinking age--but in those days, no one carded anyone in the bars). I'm so happy my light is filled with light, rather than darkness, today.
Thanks (as always) for stopping by!
Melinda
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I, too, used to adore my rock stars. I wasn't into punk, but my adolescent heros were pretty decadent hair metalers.
I thought that punks were so free. They could say and do anything without caring what everyone else thought. I later realized that that freedom was what I wanted -- and I also realize now that being a punk wasn't the answer. Although they may present a rebellious, care-free outlook, gangs have their own set of rules and codes of conduct (and scary ones at that, too).
ari
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Hi Ari,
That's how I viewed punk rock myself--that it was just so free. There was no pretense--it was completely real, right down to the rage and disgust that the 'peace and love' movement took.
I think the punk rock movement was very dangerous in many ways--and it still is. My nephew has a punk band and he seems like he might be heading down the same path I went--which is very sad. I hope he wakes up sooner than I did.
Thanks for stopping by, Ari--
Melinda
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I was a huge Sex Pistols fan and did see them on one of the sell-out tours a few years back, at the 9:30 club. Sid strikes me as being a pretty sad character. That said, for many years my favorite movie was Sid and Nancy, though I couldn't explain that now, except that it showed something -- the punk scene, not the drug scene -- that I would have loved to have been a part of.
I have also named two pets "Sid," one who went out in a blaze of glory, a little dwarf bunny one of my former cats killed on Halloween many years ago. The other Sid is a now-elderly cat who is curled up between me and my husband as I type. I'm glad he didn't live up to his name.
When I was going to culinary school in NYC, I walked past the Chelsea Hotel all of the time, always imagining what it must have been like to be there in the 70s. The neighborhood has changed a lot, that's for sure.
Once again, I'm so glad you made it through, with stories to tell, many of them good!
Jennifer
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Jennifer,
I see Sid today as a terribly tragic figure--very sad. As Jay wrote, he really did represent the worst of punk rock in many ways--but when I was young, I thought he represented the best. It just goes to show you how very much the view can change, depending on where you stand! It sounds as though this is yet another thing we have in common--that post of us were very much influenced by the Sex Pistols.
I really likd that movie Sid and Nancy also. I remember when Courtney Love was auditioning for it and she stopped by my small apartment in San Francisco. Of course, she wasn't at all famous then but I remember how crazy she was! She ended up getting a small part in that movie.
I'm glad I made it through too, Jennifer (and my husband is too!).
Thanks for stopping by--
Melinda
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Oh my! Now I'm feeling really old!
Was it all that long ago? Yes, I loved them too. And I connected with that rage. I picked up my iPod when I read this to see if I had any of their tracks on it. Only one - Pretty vacant! Says it all really:
"There's no point in asking us, you'll get no reply
Oh just remember and don't decide
I got no reason, its all too much
You'll always find us
Out to lunch!"
Out to lunch indeed!
Hope you're beginning to feel better.
Big hugs
Geoffrey
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Me too, Geoffrey! Although I was pretty young in 1978--I left home much earlier than most people since my early life was so traumatic.
You know, I don't have one song of the Sex Pistols on my iPod--and really my taste in music has changed quite a bit, although I still blast some from my stereo--particularly when I need motivation. I thought the use of Sid Vicious's version of "My Way" was great in the movie Goodfellows--did you ever see that? That's how the movie ended and I felt that Martin Scorcese did a brilliant job on the entire soundtrack, but especially that song for the ending.
I am starting to feel much better--but I was pretty sick for awhile!
Big hugs, right back atcha!
Melinda
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Hi Melinda,
I was born sometimes in 1972, so I wasn't able to know this band in my time. What can I say is they are a famous rock band in their time; million of fans and a lot of people idolized the band..
I'm sorry to hear that Sid life ended in a horrible situation, he had a miserable life in his time, he didn’t appreciate the life and talent that he had, he abused his self, his freedom. This is one of the problems sometimes to every human, because of having a lot of money, they allow this thing to control their life.
He never appreciate God’s gift. Hope and pray that people who have a good talent, they will use it in a right way, for his happiness and for everyone and for God. Thank you Melinda because you’ve already escaped in this kind of situation, God has a purpose in your life, God loves you, your very especial and He is happy now for you and for us who are the children of God. God bless you always.
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Dear Star,
Thank you so much for your sweet comments--you are a special person yourself. I was pretty young when Sid died myself (although not nearly as young as you!)--I grew up very fast and started going out to bars and clubs when I was as young as 14 years old--in those days, it was all about escape and party.
What's really scary is that I could have easily lost my life just like Sid did--in fact, I am working on a blog post about an overdose I had in the 1980's--several years after.
I do believe that my life was spared for a special purpose and that is to help others who were in my situation. It is my commitment to try to help as many addicts receive the help they need--the help that I was so lucky to receive. I discovered my Higher Power in treatment and I now allow that Higher Power to guide me in the direction I am supposed to go. It's such a relief to be able to do that.
Hugs,
Melinda
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loved the tag line of your blog title ... absolutely hilarious
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Lol--glad it gave you a smile. It was a phrase coined by stellar musician Meri St. Mary--so I can't take credit for it.
Melinda
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Oh my word has it been 30 years? That is just so hard to believe.
Oh my I don't feel old...I am old!! What a shame to lose such a talent.
Drugs are not a good scene!! It's death or jail if you use and refuse help!!
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Hi Shinade--
Yes--thirty years! I could hardly believe it when I realized that.
I agree, drugs will lead you nowhere but down--there can be no good outcomes from drug addiction. I hope others will learn from my mistakes.
Thanks for stopping by--
Melinda
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When I was 11 years old, I was engaged in a preteen power struggle with my mother. We had a terrible relationship based entirely on our complete and total inability to speak to one another without screaming and the deep, unshakable belief that the other was totally, completely wrong. My mother was someone who suffered from chronic clinical depression, tendency for which she passed down to me. In her illness, she would scream at me daily for hours and one of her favorite rants was about Sid and Nancy. She was convinced that I was going to end up like Nancy, dead on the floor of the Chelsea hotel. I had no idea what she was talking about. I was 11 and didn't give her any reason to believe this of me, but she persisted day after day. Out of curiosity, I went to the library and looked up Nancy's biography. I was so saddened to read her story and horrified at my mother's suspicions. To this day, Sid and Nancy's story makes me ache a little inside. I am so happy you are overcoming your demons and writing about them.
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Wow--that must have been really sonething when you finally learned who Nancy Spungen was--and thought about your mother's worry about her. My mother was pretty worried about me when I was a kid also--and also tried to scare me into changing my behavior (which did not work).
In some sick ways--I wanted to be like Nancy Spungen--not dead (at least not at that point) but I was drawn--so drawn to the darker side of everything and Sid and Nancy really encompassed that.
Thanks so much for stopping by and reading my blog--I appreciate it very much. I also appreciate your comments. I have found that writing my memoir and blogging about my experiences has been cathartic and at times, painful--but mostly, it has been really great.
Take Care,
Melinda
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