Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained!
The title of this post is one of my very favorite expressions. I think many people hold themselves back for fear of being rejected. We don't apply for that dream job, we don't go after that job promotion, we don't ask for that raise we know we really do deserve—or we might not ask that special person out for a cup of coffee—all for fear of rejection.
And we all do fear rejection—and most of us are quite sensitive to it. As an actor, I had to deal with rejection a lot. I got a bad review once (or twice!) and it devastated me so much that I actually pinned it on the lapel of my jacket. See world!? I was rejected! It really did make it easier somehow if I pointed out the rejection first (and it did take the pressure off my friends not to have to mention 'that review').
My years in the theater did give me a thick skin, which has helped me a lot in my life! When I was an actor, I would turn up for casting calls for shows I really had no business auditioning for—but I always thought to myself, nothing ventured, nothing gained! Once, I went to a casting call and the directors were moving up and down the line, asking each of us questions about our abilities. They came to me and said, “What’s your comfort level with tap dance?” Without hesitation, I proclaimed, “Very comfortable!” and so I was called back to the follow up audition one week later. I got back to my house and dusted off my tap shoes and for a week, I practiced my tap dancing until my feet literally bled. When I returned to the callback, I tried my hardest to pull it off—but to no avail—the director kind of laughed when he saw me flailing about the stage and said, “Nice try—but BS if you tap dance.” I didn’t get the job—but at least I went for it.
I had another experience when I was applying to graduate schools in my junior year at Montana State University. I had worked very hard throughout my undergraduate years at MSU, I had close to a 4.00 GPA, wonderful letters of recommendation and I had done very well on the Graduate Review Exam. I applied to Harvard—I did so because that was my dream. I knew it was a long shot but I really wanted to see if I was good enough to get into Harvard. I told a professor of mine I had applied there and he told me I was “delusional.” He stated flatly that there was no way that HAHVAHD was going to admit a student from a Podunk University like Montana State. Harrumph! Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
And. Then. Guess. What. Happened.
One of the most delightful days of my entire life was when I returned from school one afternoon and I saw a thick envelop bearing the unmistakable crimson seal of Harvard. A. Thick. Envelop. My hands were shaking as I opened it up (surely, a rejection would not be in such a thick envelop right?).
ACCEPTANCE! To! Harvard!
Wow. I couldn’t wait to race up to the University and show that professor that letter of acceptance. In fact, I literally waltzed up and down Bozeman’s Main Street, showing every person I ran into that I had been accepted to Harvard University. It truly was a red-letter day. From heroin to Harvard. Moreover, it reaffirmed something I already knew. I bet you can guess what it was!
That’s right! Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Don’t ever let fear stop you from reaching for that star that seems out of reach. Go for it!
Peace,
Melinda
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Categories: Personal Development,Addiction and Recovery,Personal Stories,Courage,Inspiration
That was a great story! I'm glad you showed it to the professor and everyone on the way
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Thank you so much! I'm glad you finally stopped by too!
Melinda
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I am a graduate of Montana State University ('07) and just yesterday sumbitted my application to Harvard.
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Hey, that's just great!
I wish you all the best of luck on your journey!
Melinda
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Ha! There you go, another reason we have a bit in common... I have a background in theatre as well.
Although I don't know I ever dealt with rejection as well as you did!
Kudos on believing in yourself enough to go for and then reach your dream. That's awesome! Very inspirational.
I guess the thing to do is... dream big.
Its not in the same leauge, but I was pleasantly surprised earlier this year to find I was doing something I thought I'd never do - throw everything in and take off overseas for an extended period. Just jump... and let the winds take you where they will.
It was bpoth terrifying and exhilarating but I'm awfully glad I did what I did!
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Dear Svasti,
It is not at all surprising that we are kindred souls of the theater. I truly did love the years I spent in that world--it's too bad that I got so involved with drugs and didn't find out where the theater could ultimately take me--but I also love my life today.
That's great that you 'went for it!' and ventured outside of your comfort zone. You didn't allow your fear to hold you back--and when you do that, you never know what great and worthwhile adventures you may come across!
Keep soaring, Svasti!
Melinda
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Respected Mam
The letter which you received from the Harvard, I think was actualy sent to you by GOD. HE knows everything. HE knew the purity of your heart and you sincerely wanted to start a fresh. I can read something more from that letter. There was something more written in the letter which was invisible. It was written by HE himself. I will try to guess :
My Dearest child Melinda
Suffered so much in your life
Tears start falling in my eyes
An angel heart misused so much
So many like you
vanished unknown unseen
in the darkness of their lives
Life was a gift bestowed to man
But Alas!.......
But You!
Go! Go My child, spread the message
The beauties of life
I bless thee with the courage
Make it known to them,
The right and the wrong
Go my child live your dream
Let the light of your heart
Enlighten other's lives
Like a lamp lights thousands.
Go my child fulfil my dream.
So you see God has blessed you. He chooses some pure hearts so that his message can be spread fast.
Take care
Harneet Singh
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Dear Harneet,
That was so beautiful--and it really was such a special letter. I worked so hard--so incredibly hard the entire time I went to school at Montana State--and for the first time, I worked at something that had delayed gratification. All my prayers and hard work were answered that spring of my junior year.
Thank you so much for your lovely comments.
Melinda
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Very inspiring ! I added your blog to my favorites on blogcatalog.com
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Thank you so much! I will check out your blog as well!
Melinda
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Melinda
You're one gutsy broad and I thoroughly enjoyed this entry. I can relate through my days as a struggling actor in LA. I don't even talk about those days much anymore, because when I didn't "make it" my so called friends just tuned me out and my ostensensible "load of BS".
So I started keeping all those unique experiences to myself. That's an example of fear getting the best of me. Not the kind of fear that I was too bold to possess in those days, but the kind that eats at me slowly for not honoring the experience.
Thanks again for provoking my thoughts and plan of action for the future.
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Dear James,
LOL! Yes, I have definitely been called a 'gutsy broad' before!
I really appreciate your stopping by my blog--and I am glad to hear that I might have provoked you into taking a new and unique chance in life!
Take care,
Melinda
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Dearest Melinda
A "gutsy broad" eh? ROFL You are that indeed and I imagine you're becoming an inspiration to so many people here. I'm sorry I've not been around so much of late but nevertheless I've read all your posts.
I love the sentiment of this message.
Recently I decided I was going to make a change to do the stuff I really enjoyed in life, like writing, teaching and maybe something out there that makes a true difference, a little like your foundation. I'm going for it! I feel I have tons to give and I'm going to do it. I sent you a note about my first novel earlier. Know what? I'm going to get it published. Know why? Well, that part is simple. What I told myself was:
Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
Then I saw your post. Great! I'm not for giving up and don't you ever either.
Take care, my loving friend,
Geoffrey
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Dear Geoffrey,
I am so happy to see you here again! I know you have been very busy and then I just a moment or two saw an email in my box--which I will respond to shortly.
I am so glad that you have decided to 'go for it!' Most of us are full of self-doubts but you know--other people are too! We are all just people, muddling along, trying to do our best. And often, we don't give ourselves enough credit. I am so happy you are finishing your book and wanting to teach--I know you would be an amazing teacher.
Hugs,
Melinda
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hey, i think i can relate to this post. i am also trying to get myself admitted in a university (though it's my second preference). i think whatever the out come is, trying hard and fearlessly matters the most.
peace
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Hi Irtiza,
I wish you all the best of luck in getting into the university you applied to. And I am glad to hear that you 'went for it!'
Melinda
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I really enjoyed reading this- it seems like you've been through some rough times and some great times as well.. I've found that the lows are needed to make the highs all that better =]
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Very true, Dominic! My life has been so full of intense highs and lows--and I agree that the really low points have made the great things all that much sweeter.
Thank you for visiting my blog!
Melinda
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I. LOVE. this post. A wonderful story, and told to perfection.
Two of my cousins and their families live in Bozeman. One of them has two PhDs, but neither is from Harvard.
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Thank you, Lydia!
Indeed, I was accepted to Harvard--and it was an amazing day for both me and my mom--I think she was as happy as I was that day! In the end, though, I actually went to Penn State because they offered me guaranteed funding for my entire PhD. It was not an easy decision but I felt because I had started school at an older than traditional age--I didn't want to become that much in debt. I will admit there have definitely been times when I wondered what might have happened if I had gone to Harvard, with no funding.
All IS well that ends well, though!
Melinda
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This story was delightful reading. I caught the contagion of wanting to dance on the rooftops from reading it. I too am a gutsy broad.
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I know you are, Timethief!
It takes one to know one, right?
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This story reminds me of the story of a girlfriend of mine. Back in highschool, she struggled to get Cs in msot of her subjects. In her mind, she wanted to attend university. When she shared her plan with a aguidance counsellor she was discouraged from applying and told she was not smart enough. That statement angered her to where she applied herslef differently and raised her academic standard. She ended up winning a small rotary scholarship and going on to complete an undergraduate and master's in psychology. At times, it is the people who discourage us who are our greatest motivators. Everyone helps us to grow.
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Liara,
That's a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing it. Throughout my life, my rebellious nature has often prompted me to try harder to succeed when someone has told me I could not do something! We definitely can be sparked to greater heights by people who discourage us!
Take care,
Melinda
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Ha ha! "From heroin to Harvard." You should print that on a T-shirt and sell it!
What an inspirational story. You got me pumped, Melinda.
ari
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I'm glad to hear that, Ari! Hmnnnn, tee-shirts--an interesting thought!
Melinda
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Hi Melinda,
This is an inspirational story if ever there was one. People who didn't go to university straight from school are often reluctant to return to education for fear they won't do very well. You're proof that this is not the case. Well done!
Hayley =)
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Hi Hayley,
It is really scary to return to school after not being in for a long time. I have been in some of the toughest areas any person can go into--and I have never been more afraid than I was the first day I started back to college. But hey
Thanks for stopping by!
Melinda
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This reminds me of when I was applying to grad. school, I applied to three programs that seemed like they'd be relatively easy to get into, and one where I didn't think I'd have a chance but thought I'd try, anyway...and, wanna guess which was the only one that accepted me? Makes me wonder if I'd have done even better if I'd aimed even higher.....
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That's very interesting, Dr. Jay! When I was in graduate school, I was the token student representative on the committee that reviewed new graduate student applications. I learned a lot more about what went into the process and what they looked at. Interestingly, I learned that the school (Penn State) I ended up going to (because of funding reasons), almost didn't accept my application because they were worried my GPA was a little too high! They said they look very carefully at someone when their GPA was very high because it raises alarms that the person might not be well rounded. Because I was an older student, they felt it was okay in my case. Who knew!
Melinda
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That is fantastic. I was cracking up as I pictured you flailing about the stage in tap shoes. How awesome to get into Harvard. Makes me think of what my dreams are now.
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I think it probably was pretty funny. I had a lot of balls in those days--and come to think of it, I still do!
Thanks for stopping by, Jen!
Melinda
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All the best to you, Melinda. May the God's mercy touching you.
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Thank you--and you as well!
Melinda
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Whoa. Inspired Story! That's what can I say and I'm glad that you shared it. Hey, feel free to check out the "Experience Project" if you want to share your experience. Have a good day! God bless you!
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Thank you, Yoko! I will definitely check out the 'Experience Project' -- it sounds very interesting!
Melinda
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Melinda! This is one of the most inspiring articles I've ever read. I can't think of anything to say besides WOW! I exchanged my coke straw for learning long ago. Some things are good to be "addicted" to, like learning, caring and helping others. Your entire life story is really amazing
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Thank you so much, Bobby That really was one amazing day in my life!
Melinda
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From Heroin to Harvard -- now there is a book title, or perhaps subtitle...
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That's what I thought at one point too, Donna!
Thanks for stopping by--
Melinda
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