Today, a call goes out to the blogosphere so that we can all join as one voice to support the cause, Bloggers Unite for World AIDS Day.  In particular, I believe in this cause because it is so dear to me.  As an actor and musician living in San Franciscan in the 1980’s,  and later as a heroin addict, I knew so many people who acquired HIV—and I lost many friends to that disease, before there were any good treatments and when there was so much fear and (unwarranted) shame about the disease. 

As I was thinking about World AIDS Day, the first person who came to mind was my longtime friend, Lori, who has been living with AIDS since the late 1980’s.  Even though she acquired the disease before there were effective treatment plans, she struggled through some tough times and survived, likely due to her spirit and joy for life, as well as one amazing constitution.  In fact, she is doing great today!  The last time I spoke to Lori about how she was doing with AIDS, she told me that her viral load was undetectable.  That news brought tears of joy to my eyes . . . and I thought back to how we reconnected after many years and how amazing it is that we are still friends.    

You see, I lost touch with Lori during my years of heroin addiction—but I certainly never forgot about her.  After entering treatment, I returned to Montana to attend college, as many of you know.  One day, I was sitting in a coffee shop with my good friend Eddie Hemingway and we were talking about friends we missed.  I mentioned to him that the one person I had regretted losing touch with was Lori Ayers, who lived in New York City. 

Suddenly, Eddie’s face went white, as he looked at me and said, “I know a Lori Ayers in New York!” 

Immediately, I got so excited!  “Eddie—that has to be the same Lori Ayers,” I yelled with delight.  “You and I could not possibly know two different Lori Ayers. 

But our happiness quickly faded as Eddie’s face turned dark.  “Well, I knew a Lori Ayers in New York—but I am pretty sure she is dead from AIDS.” 

Wow.  I felt as though I had been hit in the gut.  Then Eddie told me more about Lori and her situation.  I questioned him further on her status and I learned that he really didn’t know how she was doing because he had lost touch with her as well—but he had an address for her, so we immediately got a card and mailed it off to her. . . and to our delight and amazement, we got a return card from her!    Talk about serendipity!  Who could have imagined that I would reconnect with one of my best friends through a person who had met her while on a safari in Africa!  You see, Eddie and I were not even friends when Lori and I were.  Life is both strange and wonderful.  Anyway, to make a long story short—Lori came to Montana that summer for a visit, we have been reconnected since that time, and we have become even better friends today. 

Lori is one of the most amazing women I have ever known—and I have known her since the early 1980’s.  She has an amazing mind—as quick as anyone I know, she is creative, she is talented, she is the most loving friend anyone could wish for—and most of all she has inspired so many people, including me.  Today, she really is doing well—she is still beautiful, still razor sharp, still creative, still a loving friend.   I have never once heard her complain about her disease—even though, at times, I know it has not been easy.  I know for certain that she has undergone some painful procedures and had some illnesses that were truly horrible.  Throughout it all, she has faced every challenge, head on—never giving up.  And she has given of herself—she tirelessly traveled throughout the U.S. and the world, increasing awareness about AIDS to teenage kids.  She has inspired and impressed many; people have done films on her, written articles about her, created artwork in her honor, yet she remains humble and giving.  How many lives might have she saved by giving kids the tools they need to make better choices in their lives?  It is impossible to say.

She is a true hero.  When I am having a bad day—when my back is hurting, when I am thinking about some small petty problem in my own life, I think of Lori—and all of a sudden, my small complaints don’t seem too much to handle.  She has been a source of such inspiration to me—more than she could possibly imagine.  She is perennially on my gratefuls list—because I am so thankful to have her in my life.  In 1987, I went to nearly twenty funerals in one year—I lost that many friends to AIDS in the 1980’s.  How glad I am that Lori was not one of those friends—because the world has surely been a much better place these past twenty years with her in it. 

Peace,

Melinda

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