Giving Thanks
I finished reading the rough draft of my memoir just last week and I am now in the editing process. It was so interesting to read about my life in a manuscript—because even though I had written it, I did not remember exactly the way I conveyed my experiences. At several points during the book, I would literally sit back and think, “Wow—that really happened to me.” Of course, I know that I have been extremely lucky in my life—but writing my book—and then reading about my experiences drove home just how lucky I really am. Through the course of my life, I have overdosed on heroin four times—twice where paramedics had to be called—once where I was dead when they arrived at the scene. I was raped and beaten at gunpoint by a customer of an escort service; I was gang-raped in the projects scoring heroin one night, and there were two occasions where I literally jumped out of a moving car because I feared for my life. And these are the blatantly obvious times when my life was spared. In so many other ways, I am extremely lucky—although I have some health problems due to years of drug addiction, I am relatively healthy. I never acquired HIV—which still amazes me and best of all, I have a mind that still functions well—even with all the drugs. In reading my book, I am left with an enormous feeling of gratitude—as well as a feeling of determined responsibility that I must dedicate a big part of my life to helping others receive the same opportunities that I was so lucky to have.
Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday—you have the warmth and love of the Holidays without the pressure of gift giving. Thanksgiving is universal to all Americans, having no specific culture or religion that embraces it in particular. We simply give thanks and expect nothing in return, except love from our family and friends. It is a shame Thanksgiving only comes once a year—because most of us have so much for which to be thankful. This year, let’s try to extend the spirit of Thanksgiving to each month, each week, and each day. Let our thanks be shown in action of doing something kind for another person who doesn’t expect it, or giving something of ourselves to someone who needs it. Let’s not just say Thanks—let’s do Thanks. Now that I am settled in Massachusetts, I am going to work on getting set up with the criminal justice system so I can once again start counseling women addicts who are in jail—and eventually, I hope to have the resources to offer them the same opportunities I was given.
What can you do this year to show thanks to others?
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone—and thanks to all of you for being part of my life.
Melinda
Played: 499 | Download | Duration: 00:03:10
Melinda,
That was a very harrowing list of close calls. I, for one, am very thankful that you made it out of that dark time alive. Alive and intact. What a wonderful thing.
I was just thinking today after reading a comment on my blog about the idea of luck. I feel very lucky, too, to have gotten through some bad experiences without permanent damage. I was able to go to college and graduate school, have a solid marriage and family. I was scarred, but something within me has stayed intact.
I love your idea of extending the idea of Thanksgiving year-round by giving back to others, the idea of thanks as something active and giving. It's inspirational and I resolve to do it starting ... now.
Thank you for your comments on my blog today. Your support means a lot.
Take care, my friend,
Jennifer
Reply to this
Hi Jennifer,
Yes--I think we are both very lucky--for one thing, both of us have had some pretty dark experiences yet I don't believe that either one of us are bitter people--and that is not always the case.
You are welcome for the comments, Jennifer--and I really did mean every word. I feel you are going to go very far as a writer.
Take care, friend--and have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family.
Melinda
Reply to this
We don't have Thanksgiving as such in Australia.
But I'd like to share one of my daily rituals, three times a day actually - before each meal!
Its part of my yogic path, and on top of that when I received a tatoo in Thailand from an amazing tattoo master I was given a short prayer in Thai to say before I eat.
And it all boils down to offering whatever I'm about to eat, for the benefit of all beings. Imagining that as I eat, so it is shared with others.
Perhaps this doesn't sound like much. But it does draw my attention to how fortunate I am to have enough to eat. And to imbue the eating of my food with Grace.
Reply to this
Svasti,
I love your daily ritual! I believe I am going to try that as well--keeping those types of positive vibes in our life really does lend itself to bringing more positive energy into the world.
The world operates on energy--both positive and negative. The world is better when we do whatever we can to influence the world in a postive manner. I believe we all make an impact on the world--whether we do it in a positive way or negative way is up to each of us.
Take care,
Melinda
Reply to this
Dear Melinda, reading the first paragraph left me with feelings of humbleness, sadness and a lot of empathy for you. The more I am aware of this violence and pain in the world, the more dead I feel. Hard to explain, but this is the best way to describe.
I wish I could give a hug now.
Lots of love from another side of this sad world.
Reply to this
Dear Robert,
Thank you so much for stopping by. Remember, that although there is a great deal of pain in the world--there is also immense beauty--and much to feel positive about.
Take care,
Melinda
Reply to this
Respected Mam
Felt very sorry for what happened to you. It must have been a nightmare for you. Infact more than that.
I wonder how you have gathered all the pieces of your life and to top it all became a teacher. I am using the word teacher as it truly denotes the profession you have chosen. You teach others. It is a task of great responsibility.
As the thanks giving is concerned I think it is a wonderful thing provided there are a bit of feelings attached with it. The words Sorry, thanks, love you - are often misused. The importance is of the feelings behind these words. Simply saying I love you doesn' t mean you really someone. It must be shown. And if you are sincere it will be an effortless job.
As far as legalisation of prostitution is concerned I cannot say much, bit of conservative nature being an Indian. I am rather supporter of death penalty for the Murderers and specially the Rapists. They deserve no sympathy, doesn't matter who the victim is. But I know it will not work unless the thing is legalised. Corrupt policeman!
take no offence
god be with you
harneet singh
Reply to this
Dear Harneet,
Sorry for the delay in responding--I took the day off from the computer yesterday, it being Thanksgiving and all.
I am not at all offended by what you wrote--I welcome all opinions.
It has been a long road (a very long road) for me to get to the point where I am now. I have been extremely fortunate--not only to be alive but to meet so many people who have helped me in significant ways along my journey.
Thank you so much for your thoughts, Harneet--and for stopping by my blog.
Melinda
Reply to this
You inspire me.
Thank you for being a part of my life.
Reply to this
And Coleen--thank you for being part of mine.
Take care, friend--
Melinda
Reply to this
Wow. I let out a big breath when I finished reading this. I can't believe you made it out alive. And, now there is this light inside you and it's just bursting out in a kabillion reys illuminating hope others. I am very interested in bringing hope to women in
prison. MOre on this later as my little one is hitting my keyboard and I can't finish my though.t I"ll be back.
Reply to this
Dear Jen,
We have a lot in common--women in prison (and helping them get the rehabilitation they need) is such a great cause. I know first hand what a need there is for this.
Melinda
Reply to this
Last year, I attended Oklahoma Women's Day at the state capitol. They had a live drug court in action. It was fascinating. This woman (instead of going to prison) entered a one-year program for recovery. Oklahoma locks up so many women. It's so disturbing.
Reply to this
Jen,
This is something I care so much about. Drug court is wonderful. And it really does work. I have seen women who entered treatment directly from jail and who were able to stay clean. Sometimes it is the only way an addict can even get into treatment--and that is a real shame. Locking people up, when their primary problems is substance abuse doesn't work--it just makes them better criminals and hardens them. I spent time in jail, so I know. And I did a paper in college on this very subject and it was really shocking. According to one report I read, over 80% of all prisoners have an underlying substance abuse problem--and fewer than 10% receive any kind of treatment in jail. It doesn't make any sense because treatment is actually as expensive as incarceration--and with treatment, you have a real shot of giving person a second chance so they can actually become contributing members of society.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful input--I always appreciate it.
Melinda
Reply to this
You've certainly been to hell and back a few times, as well as death and back (some would say that they'd be the same thing--I consider the very idea of punishment after death for a life which contains so much suffering, as well as the idea of a God that would be responsible for such a crime, to be beyond obscene...but I'm getting off track). I find myself extremely grateful for the recovering women I tutor--who've survived severe addictions, prison, incest, rapes, having children taken away from them and so much more, yet, though one can see untold damage in their faces, continue trying to get better, trying to live...and certainly inspiring me when I'm feeling hopelessly damaged with the indestructability of hope....
Thanks Melinda,
J
Reply to this
Hey Dr Jay--
Thanks for stopping by. How great that these women are such a source of inspiration for you--and you know, I have this feeling that you probably inspire them as well.
Take care,
Melinda
Reply to this
You have a very colorful life. Im happy that you're back to the good life you have right now!
michael
Reply to this
Thank you so much, Michael!
Melinda
Reply to this